BARRELHOUSE BUZZ: New Fiction from Zulkey, Wilner July 2004 ===================== HELLO there, peoples. Lots of good stuff cooking in the old Barrelhouse lately. ==================== NEW ONLINE AT BARRELHOUSE: It’s true that the women are smarter. And funnier. And way, way cooler. So we consider ourselves very lucky to be able to present two pieces from well known writers who are making things happen online and off. Check out Claire Zulkey’s “The Tragedy of Karl Malone” and Carrie Hill Wilner’s “Sex and Pills: A Love Story” online at Barrelhouse right now: The Tragedy of Karl Malone: http://www.barrelhousemag.com/malone.html Sex and Pills: A Love Story: http://www.barrelhousemag.com/well.html ==================== FREE STORY OF THE MONTH: A.C. Koch is the fiction editor for Zacatecas, and wrote “The Everything Goes Garage Sale of My Love,” which appears in the latest issue of the Oyster Boy Review. It’s funny and sad and pretty much great. Get yours today: http://www.oysterboyreview.com/issue/18/KochAC-Sale.html ==================== QUOTE OF THE MONTH: The French call it "wood mouth." Germans refer to it as "wailing of the cats." Spaniards call it "backlash." Most English speakers call it "hangover." No matter what you call it, it's a lousy feeling. But why should a pleasurable experience such as drinking cause so much pain? -- from the website for the hangover remedy “Chaser” ==================== SITE OF THE MONTH: Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all behaved a little more like the CLOWNS? You think the clowns would invade Iraq? Run up the deficit? Ruthlessly promote the careers of Clay Aiken and Avril Lavigne? Would the clowns keep Two and a Half Men inexplicably rooted in the Neilson top 10? I think not, people, I think not. Below, presented as a public service and as a panacea to our current national nightmare, are the Eight Clown Commandments (as listed on the Clowns of America International website). Learn ‘em. Know ‘em. Live ‘em. Please Note: For any of you drunk clowns out there, and you know who you are, Commandment #3 expressly prohibits both drinking during AND drinking before clown performances. No loopholes here, Drunko. The Eight Clown Commandments: http://www.coai.org/ethics.htm ==================== SPREAD THE WORD! Got cool, smart, funny friends? What about dorky, dull ones? In either case, pass this newsletter on -- they’ll thank you, and will be impressed at your knowledge of the Clown Commandments, as well as your newfound ability to drink all night but still fend off that hangover (or, as we like to call it, “the wailing of the cats”). If you’ve received this from one of your cool or dorky friends, click here for info about subscribing. http://www.barrelhousemag.com/elist.html ==================== JUST COME ON BACK, NOW, Y'HEAR: Visit the Barrelhouse site. Bring all your friends. http://www.barrelhousemag.com ==================== You're receiving this email because, well, duh, you signed up for it. Seriously, you don't remember? Man, you are really losing it. To opt out, just send a reply to this message with "unsubscribe" in the subject line.