This morning as mud anchored me in corn stubble, I held a broken woman in my viewfinder, autofocus humming in my hands. I circled her car to show impact, proximity, the muscled ministrations of rescuers. Maybe itÕs true our last seconds happen in slow motion, and time had not resumed its measured ticking as I lifted my shoes from the firmament, left, right, then left again. With the rain, it may be weeks before Joe Potter plants the wheat seed piled in his outbuilding and commerce supersedes a townÕs sorrow. Crop rotation and the seasons ensure that his field will look different by April, that it will not appear this way again to anyone but the woman who found her there, or the volunteer firefighter who felt the last drumming of her pulse, or me, apart and silent, a bystander. Tonight her father will sit down with his newspaper; he will wear the wonder and sorrow he once saw on the face of a child as her balloon was stolen by the wind. He will imagine I felt something less than sadness as her soul emerged from its casing, something other than amazement at how life spills from a body like water from a clay pot. We all have to die, and that is something we say out loud, over and over, thinking we believe because proof is newsprint staining our fingers. When I go, I want to imagine there is someone, solemn in a field or silent at home Š someone, rooted here, whose prayers will follow me upward.
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