*

My Christian friend with a husband in Iraq hijacked a college boy's Chrysler to get me a steak burrito I passed out donating blood gave my ponytail to a group that makes wigs for children with cancer I don't need all those pints of blood those ponytails the charity of it made my Hungarian language teacher confess he cut up his face falling down drunk on his own street and his sister had an abortion though they're Catholic he thought I must love him back because I was a Democrat he asked on two continents.

__

*

With no more big boyfriend to shield me I broke a lot of lawn ornaments met a guy who said he woke up having sex sometimes paused after every sentence offering me space to agree in the movie Frankenhooker a man rebuilds his fiancee from prostitutes' body parts creates a horny monster covered in scars she talks dirty and kills people but I rolled a bowling ball into a fire pit excuse me if I break my own heart.

__

*

At Christmas my teacher gave me a bundle of twigs wrapped in a red bow said in Hungary it's used to remind children of punishment like a lump of coal in your stocking batted my hands a few times to demonstrate I saved the twigs in a shoebox for six years and when Kevin saw me open the box he said Is that memory lane? No one keeps memory lane in a shoebox in the trunk of their car but I did and included the jewelry I shoplifted from Wal-Mart although I'd never worn it.

__

One time I threw a terra cotta flower pot in the dark and it hit a lawn statue of St. Francis, unintentionally knocking his head clean off. Also, Bill Murray said, "If you see one movie this year, it should be Frankenhooker."