Austria

"Is it?" she said. In her mind she was measuring his head, wondering if it was twice the size of her own. Only yesterday Sandy told Marie, "He can't meet nice girls on the road. He meets skags. I told him about you. I have his cell number if you want to talk to him." No one liked a good listener more than Sandy.

"Who?"

"What woman?"

The woman at the end of the mahogany bar was talking to the bartender, a smile on her lips. "Does Eddie know she's sitting at the bar?" Marie asked.

"Do you like her?"

Was it supposed to rain? Marie wondered.

"I've never been to Austria," Marie said. The waiter put a drink in front of her that was full of tilted parasols.

"I know," Marie said.

He motioned again for the waiter.

"Sandy said you'd like to meet a nice girl," she said.

He stood and pulled her with him, leading her by the arm out of the restaurant area and to a room at the back of the club that smelled like frying oil. The room was filled with luggage, packages of tablecloths in stacks, boxes. It was so cold that Marie remembered being a child and the sensation of snow packed inside her boots. A man crouched next to her. He pulled at her boots. "It has to be lukewarm, almost cold, or you'll think you're being scalded," he said. He took off her snow pants and her sweater, her slacks and panties and lifted her into the tub. He said, "Everything's okay. I've closed my eyes." Before he left, which was right away, he said, "You're okay, little queen." The next day, when her mother returned from the hospital, Marie's mouth was bleeding. "Open your mouth. Let me see." Suddenly her mother's thick salty finger was next to Marie's tongue. There was a shooting pain. Then a tooth was held up. Marie remembered all this before Sandy's cousin said, "Okay, that's Europe" and led her back ਀琀漀 琀栀攀椀爀 琀愀戀氀攀 椀渀 琀栀攀 爀攀猀琀愀甀爀愀渀琀⸀  㰀⼀瀀㸀

At the front of the restaurant three men clustered on the stage. Sandy's cousin joined them. He turned his back and whipped the microphone chord before he spun on his heel toward the audience. Instantly he was singing and pointing at Marie. Soon there were noises in people's throat. Marie's tongue went dry in her mouth.

As soon as Marie pushed through the restaurant doors she began running. It was too late for the bus. The night was moonless, without a breeze. A sedan pulled up beside her and coasted. When she turned her face, ruined with tears, the sedan squealed off.

Marie woke when a giant body covered with hair rolled over beside her. The bear's hairs brushed against her arm. The bear rose and walked into the kitchen. She recoiled when she felt the warm spot where he had been lying.

The bear stood behind Sandy, tilting his giant head back and forth and poking out his tongue.

Two teeth erupted on the baby's lower gums—white and sharp! Soon the baby learned to scoot along the floor. Almost every day he tried to make a new sound. Marie thought of her father who shook the baby mice from a burlap sack in the granary and stamped them out with his boots. They're little pink marbles of fat, her mother said. They're not marbles, Marie told her mother. To get at the biscuits she wanted to thaw, Marie's mother pushed the frozen cow's tongue out of the way. Look at this tongue, her mother said—it's a big old hard knob. But it wasn't. It was a tongue, Marie told her mother.

"You're very quiet," the engineer said. White napkins were folded upright at the table. "I like that you're quiet." The engineer swallowed and then said "No—I don't mean that the way it sounds. I just mean you don't have to talk. It's okay with me."

"How do you like this wine?" he asked.

"I probably shouldn't say this," he said, "but you seem lonely." She looked through the window behind him. Five trees stood at the edge of the parking lot. No, six.਀ऀ ਀㰀瀀㸀䄀 眀攀攀欀 氀愀琀攀爀 琀栀攀 攀渀最椀渀攀攀爀 欀攀瀀琀 栀椀猀 栀攀愀搀 搀漀眀渀 眀栀攀渀 栀攀 猀愀眀 䴀愀爀椀攀 愀琀 琀栀攀 爀攀挀攀瀀琀椀漀渀椀猀琀✀猀 搀攀猀欀⸀  㰀⼀瀀㸀

"I have an appointment," he said in a loud way.

On his way out, the engineer again stopped at the reception desk and told Marie he wanted to see her that night. "I won't bite," he said. "I'm sorry if I went too far last time."

Standing behind the engineer, the bear kept sticking out his tongue. It was a pure white tongue. Marie didn't know when it had turned white, but there it was.

"What's wrong?" the engineer asked. "I haven't done anything."

"No. I can just look at you . . . I never said I didn't want you to talk last time. I said you didn't have to talk."

"That's nice to hear," he said. "I don't hear those two words too often."

The engineer spoke in a way that required Marie to bend close to his face. "And you're a comedian," he said.

"I'm the clown then. You're beautiful, and I'm a clown. I want the whole world to know how beautiful you are." He winked and clasped her hand.

Later that night the engineer didn't mention anything about Austria. Instead, he said, "I didn't have much of an interesting life before I met you."

"No," he said. "I was stuck in one place. Everything was stuck, if you know what I mean."

She turned on the bedside lamp. The bear's ear was wet. There were moist patches around his neck. His right eat was torn as if he had been in a fight.

When he didn't answer, she turned over on her stomach and fell back to sleep.

She turned on the radio. A man was singing. The voice sounded as if it came from another room in the house. She turned the radio off and took a load of the baby's clothes from the washer. She held the clothes against her chest for the warmth.

"Have you lost it entirely?" Sandy said. "What country are you from? If you needed money you should have told me." Sandy had downloaded the photographs in her cubicle. "You really had me fooled," she said.

"You have a baby now," Sandy said. "Remember that. If the father ever wanted custody he could just show a lawyer what you've got going here."

"They're well lighted, I'll say that," Sandy said. "Your skin's the color of a cantaloupe."

When she picked him up out of his crib, the baby looked at Marie with serious eyes. Together they stared into the mirror above the layette. Moving away from the mirror, Marie felt the new coldness in the apartment. A chill ran up her back and she shivered.

After a long time she fell asleep, waking to hear the baby kicking his legs and making soft sounds. Lying next to the baby was the bear, motionless—shrunken smaller than the baby, his eyes hard, no different than any toy's.

Lee Upton's fifth book of poetry, Undid in the Land of Undone, ਀椀猀 昀漀爀琀栀挀漀洀椀渀最 昀爀漀洀 一攀眀 䤀猀猀甀攀猀 倀爀攀猀猀 椀渀 昀愀氀氀 ㈀　　㜀⸀   She is the author of four books of literary criticism, most recently ਀㰀攀洀㸀䐀攀昀攀渀猀椀瘀攀 䴀攀愀猀甀爀攀猀㰀⼀攀洀㸀Ⰰ 䈀甀挀欀渀攀氀氀 唀渀椀瘀攀爀猀椀琀礀 倀爀攀猀猀⸀ 㰀⼀瀀㸀 ਀ ਀ ਀
਀㰀戀爀 ⼀㸀 ਀㰀搀椀瘀 椀搀㴀∀氀漀最漀∀㸀㰀攀洀㸀䤀渀 倀漀猀猀攀㨀㰀⼀攀洀㸀 倀漀琀攀渀琀椀愀氀氀礀Ⰰ 洀椀最栀琀 戀攀 ⸀ ⸀ ⸀ 㰀⼀搀椀瘀㸀 ਀㰀瀀㸀㰀椀洀最 猀爀挀㴀∀琀攀搀栀攀愀搀⸀最椀昀∀  愀氀椀最渀㴀∀爀椀最栀琀∀ 愀氀琀㴀∀氀漀最漀∀ ⼀㸀㰀⼀瀀㸀 ਀㰀栀㌀㸀㰀愀 栀爀攀昀㴀∀栀琀琀瀀㨀⼀⼀眀攀戀搀攀氀猀漀氀⸀挀漀洀⼀䤀渀倀漀猀猀攀⼀椀渀搀攀砀⸀栀琀洀∀ 愀氀椀最渀㴀∀爀椀最栀琀∀㸀 刀攀琀甀爀渀㰀⼀愀㸀☀渀戀猀瀀㬀☀渀戀猀瀀㬀 㰀⼀栀㌀㸀
਀