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Francis Down Under
"Francis. Francis? Francis!"
Francis Avery quietly turns off the small reading lamp beside his favorite
chair, a lumpy, worn, faded beige recliner, and sits in the dark of the
basement, not moving or making a sound as he listens to Karen call his name.
He had heard the front door slam and Karen's heels across the
hardwoods, going from the living room to the kitchen to the top of the
basement stairs, marking each examined area with her voice. He sees the
bleak light from the kitchen as Karen opens the door to the basement. The
basement darkness convinces her that he is not down there and Karen shuts
the door without coming down to flush Francis out of his favorite retreat.
Karen would not assume Francis was in the basement without any lights for
why would anyone choose the total darkness of a dank, damp basement in May
when there is so much going on outside, so much green, so many flowers
blooming, so much life and all the activities that go with it?
After he hears the door close, Francis listens as her steps move
back through the kitchen and down the hall to their bedroom. He imagines
that Karen is wondering if, when she turns the corner, she will find his
body sprawled on the floor, his feeble heart giving out while she was still
at work. But her steps are not those of panic or concern. Perhaps, Karen
is so far past anticipating the worst that the worst is not so bad anymore.
The worst is long overdue. It is expected.
More than likely, she is merely wondering where Francis went and why
he left no note. After all, Francis is usually waiting just where Karen
leaves him; predictably reliable.
They are not legally husband and wife, nor will they ever be. Karen
had wanted that at first, when Francis arrived with only his clothes and a
well-worn old recliner. His wife, Adelle, having found out about Karen, had
thrown Francis out. He had come home from work one evening eleven years ago
to find his favorite chair in the driveway and his clothes thrown on top of
it for the whole neighborhood to see.
Francis had come to Karen just until he found a place of his own,
which he did in less than a week. Francis recalls how cavalier he had been
back then. Back before the two massive heart attacks left him virtually an
invalid before the age of fifty-five, changing everything about who he
thought he was.
The first one had happened after an argument with Adelle over
seeing the kids. Adelle had come to the hospital when she learned of his
condition, for she was still his wife. Francis remembers her face staring
down into his as though all was forgiven and the only thing that mattered
was Francis pulling through. He had thought that he was dying, too, and
because of that, he was very tender with Adelle. He said all the right
things for a dying man to say. Adelle was the perfect woman to become his
widow and he told her so, more or less, in the I.C.U. of St. Anthony's
Hospital. Love is at its best, its most pure when you're dying, Francis
thinks.
When he was released, Francis agreed to give up his two-pack-a-day
cigarette habit, and believing that would suffice, went back to work, his
new apartment, and Karen. His second heart attack happened one night in
Karen's bed. Adelle did not come to see him at the hospital after that.
Karen insisted he give up his apartment and move in with her until
he was 'out of danger.' Why had he been so willing to comply, Francis asks
himself. It was not for love or even lust, for that had almost totally
evaporated after the second attack. It was fear, plain and simple. He had
been afraid of a third attack occurring late at night, alone in his
apartment, unable to even reach the phone and it terrified him to think of
dying in a rented apartment where, if it happened on a weekend when he wasn'
t expected at work, he might lie on the floor, rigor mortis setting in,
beginning to smell, turning into such a putrid corpse that his casket would
have to be sealed or his body cremated. It was ridiculous how thoughts like
these once had such power over him; but they had and Karen sensed his
weakness and brought him home.
Back then, Karen had really wanted him. Francis had been her boss's
boss. She had seen Francis Avery as an office coupe, better than a
promotion. But that was before Francis was forced to take medical
retirement. He'd moved in, forever alienating Adelle and his kids,
believing he would move out just as soon as he was his old self again, as
though good health returned every year like springtime or the months on a
calendar, continually recycling over and over again.
Francis pushes back the recliner, bumping the wall. He freezes,
barely taking a breath, listening for Karen. But she doesn't call out and
Francis figures she is busy undressing, perhaps with the t.v. on. She likes
to watch the six o'clock news when she gets home in time to catch it. Karen
says she likes knowing what is going on in the world and television, she
claims, keeps her up to date. Sometimes she asks Francis to turn the set on
and watch it for her on nights she knows she'll be working late.
He had hoped that Karen would be late tonight. Francis likes the
place better without her and if it was his place, he'd ask her to move out.
But it's not his place and that is the problem. Always there are obstacles,
and when they are removed, there are new obstacles. Obstacles did recycle
like the seasons.
When Karen received a small insurance settlement from being
rear-ended by the teenage son of a physician (if I had to be hit, thank God
he was well-insured!) she had bought new living room furniture and banished
Francis's beige recliner to the basement.
"Why?" Francis had asked. "It's hard for me to climb those stairs
without getting winded."
"Then let's give it to the Goodwill. I'm tired of that ugly, old
thing. I want it out of sight, totally, if not out of the house."
The basement. Francis calls it Australia, his own personal Down
Under. Karen sometimes suggests he go 'to Australia' when her friends are
coming over. "You like it down there and I know we just get on your nerves
with all our chatter."
Francis knows whose nerves are really Karen's concern. He knows his
labored breathing and shuffled footsteps quell the party atmosphere. "Are
we bothering you, Frank?" Some idiot always asks without ever expecting an
affirmative answer. The question is more a notification that his movements
in the kitchen, or going to the bathroom from the bedroom, are a
distraction. "Oh, there he is - again!"
Adelle died of an aneurysm in her brain eight years ago. Any
thoughts Karen had of dumping Francis back where she found him are gone.
Before Adelle's death, Karen frequently asked Francis if he ever felt like
leaving Adelle had been a mistake? Fourteen years of marriage was quite an
investment of one's life to just walk away from.
Francis reminded Karen that he hadn't walked away; that he and his chair
were expelled, exiled, and had she forgotten why?
Karen usually changed the subject at that point. Francis regrets that
he was not Adelle's widower. He believes he should have been. He knows that
had he died in the I.C.U. after his first heart attack, Adelle would have
cherished his memory, despite his indiscretions with Karen and someone named
Lorraine earlier. Adelle would have been a good widow and that makes
Francis love her all over again.
When he is alone in the house, he reads Book-of-the-Month Club
selections that Karen purchased to fill an empty bookcase. He prefers ones
set in other centuries and preferably, on other continents. When he needs
something more, and Karen is gone, Francis allows himself to fantasize.
He prefers his fantasies in the basement, in his chair, with whatever book
he is presently reading nearby. Francis closes his eyes and if the house is
empty, he begins speaking aloud to the ship's captain, to the hotel
concierge, to the safari guide, to the maitre d'. At times, he rescues Mata
Hari from the firing squad and flees with her to Switzerland where she
remains loyal and grateful, staying with him until the end of his life,
which is never far away because Francis does not wish to be a burden to the
beautiful Mata Hari, even in a fantasy.
Lately, Adelle appears as his companion, going with him to Kenya or
New Zealand and finally, settling in Australia. Francis enjoys this one
because when he is with Adelle, there is no stress. They are just an older
married couple, retired, seeing the world together. Francis is faithful in
his daydreams of Adelle, and she always responds by wearing the same face
she wore when he lay near death in the I.C.U. His kids are no longer bitter
toward him in his daydream. They think their father is a swell guy. His
children would never use such a term, even if they felt that way. But it is
his fantasy and Francis is in control. He can make them speak any way he
chooses.
Karen is using the electric can opener. The sound irritates
Francis, but fortunately, it doesn't last long. If she is cooking
something, then she most likely is not going back out, which means Francis
will have to wait until she is taking her bath to sneak upstairs and open
and close the front door, announcing that he is home from.a walk. No, Karen
would never buy that. Maybe he will say Charlie Needham came by and took
him out for coffee or a drink or something. Karen would be a little
surprised, but she probably wouldn't question it. Charlie hadn't come around
in ages, but that's not to say he wouldn't. Maybe Karen is just opening
some cat food and she will be leaving again soon.
Francis doesn't care much either way. He's going to lie to her
whether she goes out or stays home. He is not going to tell her he's been
sitting in the basement in the dark while she was calling for him. Francis
doesn't want her to know that's even a possibility because that would ruin
it for the next time. Karen would start coming down the stairs even if the
light was off.
What a great investment his chair was, Francis thinks. He remembers
buying it when he was still with Adelle. She thought it took up too much
space in the family room and she feared one of the children might get their
neck caught in the leg rest. But in the end, she surrendered and allowed it
space in front of the television where it remained until the night it wound
up in the driveway, buried beneath the heaps of clothing.
First, the driveway, then the basement. Francis knows if he goes into
the hospital again, his recliner will disappear completely before he comes
home. He hears himself telling the ambulance driver, "Buddy, please don't
leave my chair alone with her. You don't know what she's planning. If she
gets rid of it, what will I do? Where will I go?
There's no Australia without it." The scene causes Francis to feel
nauseated. He hopes he never sees an ambulance driver again. He hopes he
dies in his chair. He grips the arm rests and the soft, velveteen fabric
comforts him.
Karen is talking to someone on the phone. He hears her laugh. He
wishes she would take her call in the bedroom instead of the kitchen where
he can hear her so clearly. Her voice and laughter grate on him, reminding
him of how like Esau he feels when he is in her company.
Francis never planned to stay in her company. Karen's plans never
included heart attacks and disability. She had sworn to all who knew her
that she never meant to break up his marriage, but she loved him, which
Francis thinks Karen convinced herself at the time that she did. Prestige
and recognition, even when it's scandalous, were intoxicating to Karen, like
the attention of a younger woman can be to a middle-aged, married man.
They never discuss it, but Francis is certain that even Karen now
inwardly acknowledges that she never really loved him. But Karen is listed
as co-beneficiary with his children on his insurance policy which is enough
to make her bide her time. In his mind, Francis hears Karen speaking after
he is dead: "Thank God, he was well-insured!"
There is a clattering sound of a plate or bowl in the sink,
silverware, running water, Karen's footsteps on the kitchen linoleum, the
opening and closing of the refrigerator, and then, the more distant sound of
the t.v. in the bedroom blaring.
Francis's chair is in the far back reclining position. He closes his eyes
and relaxes. When Karen is in the kitchen, Francis tenses, afraid that he
might bump the wall again, or sneeze or knock over the lamp in the dark. He
had been sitting with his eyes open, staring into the black space in front
of him as though watching it were somehow helpful in keeping Karen upstairs.
But with his eyes closed, Francis can once again enjoy Australia in
the basement and his shallow breath comes easier as he imagines aborigines
standing in the distance, sparsely clothed, spears in their hands but not
raised. They are using them as walking sticks. Adelle is there with him
and he tells her he is thinking he would like one for himself instead of the
cane he sometimes uses to lean on when his breathing is difficult.
Adelle starts to laugh. "What in this world would you need a cane
for?" She asks him playfully, nudging Francis as she speaks. And then,
Francis is laughing, too, a big voluminous laugh that echoes across the
savannah to the aborigines. One of the aborigines looks toward Francis and
then suddenly, lets out a shrieking sound as if in response to the laughter.
The aborigine lifts his spear, and with Francis watching his every move, the
aborigine sends it flying over the savannah, over the ocean and the equator.
All the way from down under, it makes its way through the darkness of the
basement, with Karen clomping around upstairs, totally unaware. She has no
idea that at this very moment, a spear moving with such velocity that impact
with it could shatter bricks, is coming right at Francis where it finds its
mark, straight through his heart and clean out the other side.
Gayla Chaney'swork has appeared in numerous small journals, including Potomac Review,
Concho River Review, Seven Hills Literary Review, Fish Stories, The
Rectangle, The Acorn, Switched-On Gutenberg and El Locofoco.
In Posse:
Potentially, might be ...
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