Pretenders

Toshiki Kojo

A salesman is pretending to be a salesman on the platform of one of Tokyo's subway stations. He is waiting for the train, standing, reading the morning paper.

Next to him is an office lady in her early twenties who is pretending to be an office lady. She sometimes pretends to be a bad girl, but it is always that she pretends to be an office lady. And as an office lady who pretends to be an office lady, she always pretends to be honest and eager. The salesman starts to pretend to be a handsome and smart middle-aged man when he notices the young woman next to him, but she does not notice him. She is busy writing an email to her fuck buddy #1 on her cell phone. And next to her is a groper who is pretending to be a groper but no one around him knows that he is a groper because he is not groping women's bodies now.

He only gropes women's bodies in the train. This means that he is a groper pretending not to be a groper who pretends to be a groper pretending not to be a groper. He notices the office lady who pretends to be an office lady next to him, but she is not his type. Fortunately, he sees a young woman who is his type behind him. Actually, standing behind him is not a woman. It is a young man who pretends to be a young man who is pretending to be a young woman. In other words, he is a man pretending to be a woman who pretends to be a man pretending to be a woman. In short, he is a transvestite who pretends to be a transvestite. He is so womanly that no one realizes that he is a man who is pretending to be a woman.

There are a lot of other salesmen who pretend to be salesmen, other office ladies who pretend to be office ladies. And architects who pretend to be architects, mechanics who pretend to be mechanics, construction workers who pretend to be construction workers, retailers who pretend to be retilers, teachers who pretend to be teachers, university students who pretend to be university students, high school students who pretend to be high school students, and so on.

A train comes to a stop in front of them all. The doors open and they get on. The doors shut and the train departs. It is rush hour. The passengers are jammed so badly they cannot move their bodies except their heads, hands and feet. The salesman who pretends to be a salesman cannot read the paper anymore. The office lady who pretends to be an office lady cannot write another email, this time to her fuck buddy #2. Her cell phone almost crushes in her hand. The young man in women's clothes who pretends to be a young man in women's clothes is doing nothing. He is just looking up at the advertising posters. The train runs and rolls. It stops at the next station and some of the passengers get off and new passengers get on and the train starts again. The passengers are jammed so badly again that they cannot move their bodies except their fingertips, but this is enough for the groper who pretends to be a groper. So, he touches the transvestite's buttock with his fingertips.

"Please don't," the young man pretending to be a young woman who pretends to be a young man pretending to be a young woman says in a very timid voice. The groper likes the way the transvestite speaks. So, he thrusts his fingers into the transvestite's skirt. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the transvestite who pretends to be a transvestite wears women's panties. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he also wears his favorite pantyhose so the groper who pretends to be a groper cannot touch the very part of the transvestite. The transvestite had tucked that between his thighs before leaving home. The transvestite tries to avoid the groper's fingertips, but there is no room around him to escape. "Please. Don't touch me," the young man pretending to be a young woman who pretends to be a man pretending to be a woman says in a timid voice again, this time with tears in his eyes, as if he were a woman. This pleases the groper much more.

The salesman who pretends to be a salesman picks up what the transvestite said. He barely looks down and finds out what the groper is doing to the transvestite. And he realizes that the groper who pretends to be a groper is a groper. He does not take a fancy to the transvestite, but it occurs to him that this is a chance to pretend to be a macho. He still wants to arouse the young office lady's interest. So, he thrusts his hand downward very forcibly to grab the groper's hand. But at this moment the train bounces and what he grabs is not the groper's hand, but the flesh of the young office lady's buttocks.

"Ouch!" exclaims the young office lady who pretends to be an office lady. She almost always pretends to be graceful, but this time her voice is not so graceful. She looks back at the salesman, grabs his hand and yells. "What're you doing? You dirty old man!"

The groper who just almost touched the transvestite's groin opens his eyes wide. So does the transvestite. At first they do not understand what is going on. The groper soon thinks that he is being accused and feels fear. So does the transvestite because so many people in the car are looking toward him. He thinks that they just noticed he is pretending to be a beautiful young woman and that everyone blames him for being transvestite. Most fearful to him is the groper who is just touching his thighs. This man would go in a rage and kill me because I'm not a girl, he thinks. And before long the groper and the transvestite realize that being accused is a middle-aged man in his expensive suit and accusing is the young woman who was hitting the buttons of her cell phone on the platform. This makes them even more confused.

The groper's fingertips are still on the transvestite's thighs. The groper has forgotten that he was groping. He has forgotten his own being as a groper. The transvestite has forgotten that he was being just groped. He has forgotten he is a man who is pretending to be a woman among jammed people.

"What's going on?" someone says. "What's wrong?" someone else says.

"This man touched my butt!" the young office lady yells again and pulls the salesman's hand high above their heads. The salesman tries to escape from her hand, but her grip is so strong.

"A groper?" asks a man next to them.

"Yes!" yells the young office lady who is not pretending to be graceful any more.

"A groper?" says a pickpocket pretending not to be a pickpocket who pretends to be a pickpocket pretending not to be a pickpocket standing near one of the doors.

"Yeah, a groper," says an unemployed man who pretends to be an unemployed man these days.

"Who's the groper?" asks a terrorist from somewhere else on the planet pretending to be a sightseer who pretends to be a terrorist from somewhere else on the planet pretending to be a sightseer.

"That man, over there," answers a rich old man who has been pretending to be a rich old man since his retirement, pointing at the salesman. The old man was once a carpenter. This means that he is a rich old man who was once a carpenter who pretended to be a carpenter who pretends to be a rich old man who was once a carpenter who pretended to be a carpenter. In his hand is a wooden rod that is forced to pretend to be a cane.

The train rumbles.

"What's a groper, Mom?" a kindergarten child who is forced to pretend to be a kindergarten pupil asks his mother.

"Shh! It's a kind of bad person," answers his mother who pretends to be a mother.

The train bounces.

"No! I'm not a groper!" the salesman yells, forgetting his pretending to be macho.

"Yes!" the young office lady yells back, still grabbing his hand. "You just touched my butt! Your goddamn hand touched my butt!"

"I just tried to—" the salesman tries to say what he tried to do, but someone cuts him off. "You motherfucker! Shame on you!" A middle-aged woman who pretends to be just a middle-aged woman curses at the salesman.

The groper and the transvestite look at each other.

"Put your hand out of my skirt!" exclaims the transvestite in a manly voice, forgetting his own fear. This surprises the groper. He puts his hand out of the transvestite's skirt, saying, "Oh, no! This is a man!"

No one hears them.

The train begins to slow down. Soon it stops again and the doors open.

"Call the train crew!"

"Call the station staff!"

"Hand him to the police!"

So many people yell. The salesman who usually pretends to be a salesman tries to push them aside and get off the train and escape.

"Catch that man! A molester!" The office lady yells behind him.

People on the platform are too surprised to understand what is going on, so the salesman is able to get off the train and run through them toward the stairs. A station staff who pretends to be a station staff not only at the station but also at home approaches. "Catch him!" yells the office lady again. "He touched my buttocks!"

The station staff instantly starts to run after the salesman. At the top of the stairs he grabs the elbow of the salesman's suit, but the fabric of the suit slips through the station staff's fingers.

This makes the salesman who has been pretending to be a salesman for so many years stumble, and he falls down to the bottom of the stairs.

Looking at this, the young office lady who always pretends to be an office lady even if she forgets she is an office lady stands still. So many people at the station yell and exclaim and cry. People inside the train the salesman just escaped from ask each other what happened, but no one knows what happened to the salesman who has never pretended to be a molester.

Downstairs, he is surrounded by lots passengers who do not know that they just pretend to be something. One knows that she/he is a businessperson but does not know that she/he is a businessperson who just pretends to be a businessperson. One knows that she/he is a parent but does not know that she/he is a parent who just pretends to be a parent. One knows that she/he is a criminal but does not know that she/he is a criminal who just pretends to be a criminal. One does not know that she/he is a miser and does not know that she/he is a miser who just pretends to be a miser. One barely realizes that she/he is a fetishist but does not know that she/he is a fetishist who just pretends to be a fetishist. And so on.

When the station staff who always pretends to be a station staff comes to the twisted body of the salesman, he is already dead.

Is it a dead person who pretends to be a dead person? No. It is just a corpse.

Toshiki Kojo

Toshiki Kojo is a Japanese writer living in Tokyo. He began writing science fiction in English about nine years ago, hoping "that people all over the world would read my stories." At first he translated his Japanese stories, but soon started writing new material in English. Though admits relying heavily on Japanese-English dictionaries, "I have never felt it painful to write in English," he says. "I hope readers will enjoy my clumsy English." Toshiki's favorite writers are Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, Kurt Vonnegut, Roald Dahl, Luis Sachar, and Natsume Soseki, as well as Fiction and Fantasy writers like John Varley and Ursula K. Le Guin.

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