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Portrait of a Bad Night (With Ale)
Lowell came to New York to be gay.Native American culture reputedly accepted
homosexuality, but Lowell gave the impression that on reservations, up in
those states where it snows all the time, acceptance is more theoretical
than actual. He looked like every other young man fresh off the bus, a
first lover away from coming out, ready to be pulled to the city's bosom in
a manner maternal. He looked careful, as if he was used to being
uncomfortable.
He looked hopeful.
The city gave him hope. It gave him Stephen and Smoke. They were East Coast
Indians, fast-talking and hard edged. But they were easy with him. He had a
ticket. The sharp facial bones of heredity were a pass. He was a
card-carrying Chippewa.
Stephen and Smoke sat with him in the park. They offered him a place to
sleep. Hamburgers. Ballantine ale, minus the first swallow, spilled on the
ground for the spirits that huddled up to their nativity. They gave him the
bottle caps with puzzles, and the answers to the puzzles. His shoulders
received one-armed manly hugs. His hair was tousled. They called him Little
Brother.
Well mannered and grateful, he did not mention that the beer tasted like
soapy water, or that it made him dizzy. He drank slow, afraid he would
embarrass himself by puking. He tipped back his head when Smoke leaned in
close and said, "Hey, drink up," but he tried to take small sips.
Stephen's jokes were mean-spirited, but that was ok. The meanness was not
directed at Lowell. Stephen amused himself by shouting, "Immigrant," at
passing tourists. He laughed at the astonished, guilty looks and blushes
that crossed those white faces. His laugh was not mean though. He laughed
deep and open mouthed. His parted teeth were wet and white. Lowell laughed
too, not at the tourists, but at the way it felt good to be there. He felt
grounded in Stephen's gravitational pull. Lowell longed to touch him, even
if it was just in the way that men touch, a push, or a hand on a shoulder
when they joke. He moved toward Stephen, stumbled on a tree root, reached
out, and drove Stephen's hand into the barb of a hurricane fence.
The walk to the hospital was quiet and calm. They moved businesslike through
the streets, leaving a trail of blood, like breadcrumbs. Stephen sat
silently through the stitching. The walk back to the park was equally
serene. They followed the bloody trail. Lowell held on to a guilty silence.
In a quiet corner, Stephen said, "Hey, faggot" just before his good hand clipped
Lowell's cheekbone. Smoke's fist connected with the back of his head. They
broke his nose, loosened a tooth, and kicked his kidneys, which caused days
of bloody urine, and then they stopped.
They slung his arms over their shoulders and dragged him back to their
place. Smoke told him, "You're lucky you met us, Little Brother. White boys
wouldn't beat you, then take you home."
Deborah Rosenblum is a litigation paralegal in New York. She is the author
of Where I Eat, a New York dining guide, forthcoming in 2002, from Ig
Publishing. This is her first published short story.
This work will also enter the Ethnic Anthology.
In Posse:
Potentially, might be ...
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