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Writers
Friendship
Edited
and compiled by Robert Sward
Hold
the Audience: A Brief Memoir of John Berryman
by Laurence Lieberman
In the
middle of the winter of 1969, shortly following the announcement of
the awarding of the National Book Award in poetry to John Berryman's
volume His Toy, His Dream, His Rest, the University of Illinois invited
Mr. Berryman to visit the campus for a few days and present a couple
of readings from his work. The letter of invitation was sent some months
before the suggested date for the readings, but we received no reply
from Mr. Berryman. Finally, a couple of weeks before the date scheduled
for his arrival, we phoned the poet, and he warmly agreed to be our
guest. Apparently, he had misplaced our letter and then had forgotten
about the matter, thinking he had already replied in the affirmative.
I had
for many years been an ardent devotee of the poet's work, and since
I was to act as his host at the university, I looked forward to our
first meeting with great enthusiasm. I strongly advised Mr. Berryman
to plan to arrive a day or two before his first reading, because bad
weather in mid- winter between Minnesota and Illinois often interrupts
jet traffic. But he arranged to reach Urbana just a few hours before
the reading. There was some snowfall on the day of his arrival, not
heavy enough to ground the planes but sufficient hazard to delay his
shorter flight--the notoriously unreliable Ozark shuttle plane-- between
Chicago and Urbana. I drove to the airport to meet the late Ozark plane,
and when Mr. Berryman failed to appear among the deboarding passengers,
I panicked, since his first scheduled performance was just hours away.
I phoned his home in Minneapolis, and his young daughter assured me
that he had flown by jet to Chicago. Then began the marathon wait.
Mr. Berryman's
first performance was scheduled for 8:00 P.M. and by 7:30 P.M., most
of the audience of several hundred had already assembled in the lecture
hall. I hurriedly composed a speech of apology, but just before I reached
the speaker's podium to send the audience home, I was called to the
phone. Mr. Berryman was calling from a public phone booth at some point
along the highway between Chicago and Urbana--he wasn't sure of the
distance--and his first words to me were, "Lieberman, hold the audience!"
He sounded in very high gay spirits, saying he had found a cabdriver
at O'Hare Airport in Chicago, a lovely, talkative man, who had agreed
to taxi him 140 miles to Urbana for a reasonable price. He expected
to be about one hour late, and I should kindly ask the audience to wait.
Nearly everyone in the crowded auditorium was happy to wait. I delighted
to imagine the dialogue between Mr. Berryman and his cabdriver, which
I assured the audience jokingly must resemble the wonderful repartee
between Henry, the autobiographical persona of Berryman's famous Dream
Songs, and his friend and counterpart who refers to Henry in the poems
as Mr. Bones. A student carrying a guitar mounted the stage and began
to play folk songs; then a number of other students followed the first,
and all spontaneously began to sing--so the time passed quickly and
happily for all.
Shortly
after 9:00 P.M., some of the audience became fidgety, and a slow stream
of those who had lost patience and were tired of waiting began to trickle
out of the lecture hall. At 9:15, the phone rang again. Mr. Berryman,
his voice now at fever pitch, repeated "Hold the audience!" In the background,
I could make out a jukebox and jangled voices: Clearly, Mr. Berryman
was phoning me from a bar, and no doubt he would be treating his chauffeur
to "a couple for the road." At 10:00, when the phone rang for the third
time, half of the audience had left. Mr. Berryman was calling at last
from the registration desk of the Illinois Union, his place of lodging
for the night. He had arrived safely, paid his cabdriver, and wished
to rest for a short while in his room to get ready for his performance.
I elatedly reported the news to the audience, and we all moved from
the auditorium to a very spacious private home. We settled in for a
late meeting with our poet, in which we anticipated the intimacy of
a small, informal--if crowded--gathering would compensate for the long
delay.
At 11:00
P.M., I met Mr. Berryman at his room, as agreed earlier, and he rose
to greet me, while covertly replacing a whiskey flask in his satchel.
He was shaking from head to foot, and I distinctly remember him saying
as we shook hands, "There's nothing wrong with me that a completely
new nervous system wouldn't fix." (I'm reminded of those words by a
line in one of the poems in Love and Fame, "When all hurt nerves whine
shut away the whiskey." When we arrived at the large home at which the
remains of the audience were gathered, Mr. Berryman was quickly accosted
by a somewhat deranged young ex-GI poet. I was amazed at Mr. Berryman's
extreme kindness toward this ill-mannered fellow; he exercised infinite
patience toward a man who was obviously very unbalanced mentally and
perhaps dangerous. Mr. Berryman's astonishing compassion for troubled
young people was unmistakably demonstrated by this incident. I can hear
his words of sympathy for this young man echoed in the many poems in
Love and Fame dealing with agonized patients of the psychiatric ward
in which Mr. Berryman apparently was a patient for a short while.
Another
revealing exchange preceding the performance was Mr. Berryman's meeting
with John Shahn, the son of the famous artist Ben Shahn, a dear friend
of the poet's who produced the superb drawings for the first edition
of Mr. Berryman's book Homage to Mistress Bradstreet. Ben Shahn had
recently died, and his son, John, was the first to give Mr. Berryman
the terrible news. Mr. Berryman's instant outpouring of grief for his
friend gave me a firsthand glimpse into the poet's great talent for
friendship, a major theme of so many of his best poems-laments over
the deaths of his friends. In the course of his reading, he interrupted
the actual flow of his poems often to comment on friends living or dead,
and I particularly remember that he frequently sang the praises of Robert
Lowell. He tried to convince the audience that Lowell deserved the Nobel
Prize in literature, and evidently he felt there was a good chance that
Lowell would win the award later that year.
The performance
itself was surely one of the most electric and memorable poetry readings
I have ever attended. Mr. Berryman felt a great affection for his audience,
so many of whom were seated in ardent adulation at his feet in the large
front-room parlor, and he easily established a communion with a couple
of the prettier girls in the front rows. He often seemed to address
the lines of his poems, as well as the wonderful flow of anecdotes and
reminiscences between poems, directly to those individual faces. And
this quality of personal involvement and exchange gave more life to
the experience for us all.
In the
next few days, during which I was honored to act as Mr. Berryman's host,
he often exhibited the same instant surging of warmth and affection
for attractive females, including my younger daughter Deborah, who was
seven years old at the time and probably reminded him of his own daughter
of about the same age. Contrary to the legend of Mr. Berryman as an
impetuous seducer of women, his expressions of affection for females
of all ages took the form of a spiritual, loving kindness. As I think
back to his genuine fondness for every lovely young lady he met while
in my company, the memory gives a special ring to my ear as I read the
following lines from perhaps the loveliest and most moving of the Eleven
Addresses to the Lord.
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Sole
watchman of the flying stars, guard
me
against my flicker of impulse lust: teach me
to see them as sisters & daughters. Sustain
my grand endeavours: husbandship & crafting.
Forsake me not when my wild hours come ...
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This memoir
first appeared in Eigo Seinen [The Rising Generation] (May 1972)
from Beyond
the Muse of Memory: Essays on Contemporary American Poets, Laurence
Lieberman, University of Missouri Press, 1995 -reprinted with
author's permission.
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