Ron Sandvik, Managing Editor of the North American Review, used a variety of fad diets to lose so much weight that he is actually lighter than air. He drifts about the sky above Cedar Falls, Iowa, and a small throng of children chase him from below thinking he is their lost balloon. An unnamed government agency and two UFO enthusiasts track him about the area in a mutually rented van, occasionally shooting him with a pellet gun to see if he’ll burst, give up the fad diets, or sometimes simply from the frustrated boredom that often accompanies surveillance operations.
Before his great enlightenment, he spent long hours in his garage developing a product that would double as fur conditioner for small to mid-size rodents but would also serve as a first-rate exfoliant for all reptiles. His dream was to sell this product to Amway or some other MLM corporation and become filthy rich, so filthy he’d have to use his own product. But alas, alack, and Alaska, his efforts yielded little beyond stinky blobs of goo in test tubes.
Crushed by failure and debt, he returned to his first love: Literature and writing. Of course, the glitz and glamour of fasting or chemical engineering is not there. Ah, but the smell of fresh ink in the morning is all the tonic and consolation one needs to forget broken dreams or fading deeds.