James
Walton Fox
METROPOLITAN
DIARY
Where
are the gilded stags? I'd like to know.
Go
right up the stairs past Tiepolo,
And
through the fading saintliness
Of
renaissance virgins and wise men;
Past
the unfinished portrait of Michelangelo,
And
the haunted twilight where Vermeer's ladies,
Still
so shy after five centuries,
Mark
with calm eyes thoughts of times alone.
Where
is my life in this tomb of history?
Is
my heart a stone deity frozen in a pose?
At
once heroic and frail, a slate face missing a slate nose?
Where
are the gilded stags, that leap and leaping
Glide
through lives trailing gold leaf and stars,
Like
cold tears the dew cries?
I
have seen them in far swarms like lit towers
Give
light to city nights and begging palms.
If
all the world is gold what use are coins?
Go
past Clifford's room but not so fast
That
you miss his knife-edge dance through your honey.
The
October leaves can't fall from grace
They
just tilt-a-whirl and surrender their green
And
Japanese waves on a golden screen
Behind
low lit glass so as not to fade
Are
answers an artist must have made
To
questions that come begging:
If
all the world's a painted screen, what use is art?
What's
this likeness of a scull, or this photograph of space?
I
want to find the one thing I can't seem to face
Within
myself, like an African legend long lost,
Faces
and bodies carved out of magical spells,
The
sorrow and ecstasy of tribe and continent
Explained
away with a plaque of text;
Coded
into our colonial program,
Experience
becomes a string of artifacts and tiny gods
Collected
from the bush and publicly housed in glass.
Go
past Greek Helen, the face that launched
Ten
thousand Initial Public Offerings.
Go
past the great walled pit of trading
Where
the father of our nation was inaugurated.
My
love, does god trust in us?
My
accountant whirls through yeses like a drunken Mevlevi,
His
family's tears plant beanstalks they climb
To
hunt the golden geese that turn money into time.
To
sift clouds for stags that graze on the sun
If
time is money what is legal tenderness to a stone bust?
My
love, how much time is left?
How
long before we become museum pieces,
And
symbols of rituals that never were?
Those
rites of passage here and there,
Having
safe sex beneath tax shelters
Or
nude in oceans of forgiveness.
I
saw a gilded archer in a garden of posterity
She
was teenaged and naked and she asked me,
"If
all the world is hunting love what use are arrows and guns?"
I
told her to go past the American Wing,
Past
the Grandfather clocks and furnished airlessness,
Go
past the Temple of Dendur in its personal greenhouse,
Ask
the gods of Egypt who had crab-claws for hands,
Ask
the obelisk why its alphabet is a worn out photoglyph,
Why
it's dead language is an arrow aimed at the cosmos
And
know without knowing answers, there never were
A
bow and arrow that didn't have to part ways.
One
must go. One must stay.
And
if time is an arrow, is space the archer, or am I?
I
told the golden teen to go past the Asian halls
Past
Shiva unfolding her dance in a ring of fire
Past
the standing Buddha, his eyes cool, his torso armless,
I
told her to grab a bite with the Chinese bodhisattvas,
Their
bellies swollen with Lau Tsu's dictum:
If
the people have full stomachs and empty minds,
They
will be easy to govern.
The
stags could be there, feeding on rice paper mists
In
the twelve scrolls depicting the Palace of the Nine Perfections
And
the farthest east is but the farthest west.
And
the stags that twist through golden light
May
hide in the flesh of Monet's Venetian reflections
Or
curl within the bowels of Rodin's Burghers of Callais
I
can see they must have leapt past Lepage's Joan of Arc,
Her
loom overturned, her eyes in the council of angels
Round
and burning with the realization of what is real.
Her
hand raised halfway between there and here
Half
wave, have beckoning, a mudra that says I know, I know.
Perhaps
they ran through El Greco's cloud cover
Headed
back toward the Chinese calligraphy
To
graze on grids of symbols
And
temple histories in the manner of plum trees in spring.
Renewing
their determination with Korean versions
Of
the Lotus Sutra in gold ink on indigo paper.
Like
sunbeams surfacing from deep evening
The
stars one by one landing at JFK
On
grids of gold ink coaxed from outer space.
I
have seen them run trackless under the volcano's ash
Through
little architectures in seas of black
In
the painted rooms of Pompeian villas
And
English tapestries where stags pull kings carriages,
And
medieval unicorns harried by hounds
Gaze
up to archangels holding hands, dancing rings
Above
the hurried scramble of worldly affairs
The
trumpets of divinity blare through the horns
That
twine arabesques in the antlers of gilded stags,
Stags
that musk the minds of housewives and businessmen
Held
over at checkpoints along Arabian incense routes.
Their
briefcases filled with the perfumes of the zodiac
Their
eyes widened by the desert sun.
Herds
of gilded stags traverse oases.
Where
no other beast or bird could be believed,
They
weave their spells on underworlds
Above
the law whose long arm outstretched
Can
grasp just the shadow of something gone.
My
mother passed into the cool one autumn.
Like
gold dust through an hourglass,
A
red rose on the dashboard of my mind.
Solid
gold dancers thrust and grind,
And
drive time through thin scrims
And
guide this dream I have always been.
My
father went, like smoke through cloth.
All
that remains is an earthen question mark.
And
I fly through life standing on the shoulders of skylarks.
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